It is hard to believe that today is Max's 2nd birthday and even harder to believe that it is his first birthday home. His birthday marked a day of celebrating his little life with cake, singing, candles, presents, hats and hugs like most birthdays. And in the midst of celebrating there are also feelings that I can't shake. There is a part of me that grieves the first 17 months of my little boys life that I was not a part of. There is a part of me that wonders what happened 2 years ago in China, the day my little boy was born. I think of his mom often. She was the one who carried him for 9 months, heard his first cries and cared for him his first 4 days of life. Then for reasons we will never know left him at a train station. I have a deep love and respect for a women across the ocean that chose life for her son and gave me the gift of a precious son. I pray that somewhere deep in her soul she knows her little boy is happy and healthy but most importantly is loved. I grieve that there is a piece of Max's story that is a mystery to me and yet I know God has written his story and has been a part of it from the beginning, it is no mystery to the One who created him.
When I look at our little two year old I stand in awe of the way that he is grown and blossomed in the last 6 1/2 months. His little eyes went from hollow to bright. He went from not being able to take a step to running everywhere. He went from not feeding himself to loving to eat and not being able to get food to his mouth fast enough. He went from not demanding a thing to knowing exactly what he wants. He went from sitting in one spot for hours to rarely sitting still. He went from rarely getting hugs and kisses to getting more than enough to make up for lost time and giving them freely in return. He went from not demanding to be held to standing at my leg and begging to be picked up. He went from being silent to screaming with excitement at the top of his lungs. He went from being an orphan to being part of our family.
While I stand in awe of the way our little boy has changed and blossomed I stand even more in awe of what God has done and continues to do in my heart. I knew that boarding a plane and traveling across the world to bring our son home would be life changing and yet for me it was heart changing. There is something deep and unexplainable in my heart when my little boy reaches up and wraps his hands around my neck and plants a big wet kiss on my mouth. There is something that stirs deep within knowing he sees me as his mommy and looks to me to meet his needs and to be loved. God not only gave me a love for a little boy from China but he gave me a love for his homeland and a deep heartbreaking love for those orphans we left behind.
So while we celebrate you today Max and your precious life. I also celebrate everything God is doing in my heart and in our family because of you. You are a gift, a precious treasure from God and we are so thankful that God chose us to be your family. We can't imagine our life without you.
Happy Birthday Sweet Boy
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.