My friend Leigh Ann's life has touched Emma's heart in a special way. Alexa and Emma have been trying to process all of this. They are struggling with what does it really look like or mean that their friends don't have a mommy. Alexa says it doesn't make sense in her head because she can't see them. Before Easter Emma was talking about New Life at school. Emma drew a picture of herself in the grave and me and Jesus in heaven. She wrote in her phonetic handwriting ... New Life is going to see my mommy and Jesus in heaven.
Emma also asked me while Eric was on a trip if daddy didn't make it home from his trip and died if I would be sad. It has been very evident that Emma is trying to process all of this. It has been hard wondering what is going on in that little head of hers and knowing how to answer some of her questions. They are tough questions and hard to explain to someone at the age of 6. They are questions I struggle with as an adult. Emma's sad for her friend Bailey who lost his mom. She has gone from praying for Bailey, his brother and sister and dad to all the kids in the world who don't have moms.
Eric and I had a conversation one night with Emma at the table and she was talking about heaven. She said that me and Eric and Alexa would go to heaven someday. Eric asked her if she thought she would and she said not yet because she didn't ask Jesus in her heart. We were pretty amazed that she had drawn that line and understood fully what having Jesus in her heart meant. We both had another conversation with her along the same lines. We both wondered what was stopping her from making that decision and yet we didn't want to push her. It was amazing she could draw that line and say she knew she wasn't going to heaven. Saturday night before Easter Emma ran downstairs to get a drink of water after she had been tucked in. She ran to give me a kiss with a huge smile on her face. I asked her why the big smile and she said she was just thinking about Leigh Ann in heaven. She quickly ran back upstairs. AMAZING!!! She didn't learn that from me. I have to admit she sees me cry more often than smile when I think of Leigh Ann because of the pain and loss I selfishly feel. Emma caused me to sit and really think about Leigh Ann in heaven. I did wonder what kind of celebration would go on in heaven on Easter?
On Monday, April 5 Alexa and Emma were home for Easter break and had laid down for a nap. Emma woke up and had that big smile again. She looked at me and told me she had asked Alexa to help her pray to ask Jesus into her heart. She had told Eric's mom that she prayed and that now she could go to heaven like Leigh Ann! Emma's heart is forever changed!